SUCH A FUN TIME!

If anyone is in need of a good time, boy do I have an idea for you!!!

Start by collecting a group of 12 children--I've found that if the ages range from about 3 to at least 12, it works best. Once the group has been established, send them to school on a blistering hot day to play on a WAY-too-small playground and do all of the other fun school things kids are doing now-a-days. Bring the kids outside after their long, exhausting day at school and let them play in the blazing hot sun for at least 30 minutes (on nothing other than the way-too-small playground). Within that 30 minutes, make sure that 2 of the children try to ninja-fight while you are helping another child, and that as you call the ninja-wanna-be's off of the playground, a different child falls off of the monkey bars. If you can have the most dramatic child announce repeatedly (in nothing less than a scream) that the falling child has "FALLEN FROM THE TOP OF THE MONKEY BARS AND NOW HER FOOT IS TWISTED!" it really adds to the whole thing. Of course, as soon as the twisted-but-not-actually-twisted-foot situation (which wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded) gets resolved, if you sent one child to jump over a small and very wobbly picket fence right before his name could be yelled, it's perfect. Make sure that on the other side of that fence, there's a sidewalk to cushion your fence climbers fall, right on his hands and stomach. When all of this outdoor funness reaches it's peak, have them move locations. I've learned that asking for one single file line is a lot of fun too! Next, I DARE you to ask who has homework. I DARE YOU! Make all of the 9 children of differing grades with homework sit at a table and without prompting I'm sure they can figure out the next step to your "super fun packed time." (if not, just make sure that your name is called, said, or possibly even cursed at least 25x in 60 seconds) Oh, but back up. Before entering the school, you have to make sure that every child understands that the one child who should be with the group but is not, has been throwing up all afternoon and is asleep on the floor right inside. Ok, understand that it is possible to get 9 children with differing grades to get their homework done, so when you finish that, allow the sleeping puke-child (whose Mother's phone is broken making her unreachable) to awake. Pull everyone together on the rug and as soon as you FINALLY have them all sitting "crisscross applesauce" on the rug-start to give directions for the activity for the day. At this exact moment (I'm talking exact) let the sick child raise his hand and announce that he is going to throw up again. (This part is really a lot of fun) So as you rush the sick child to the garbage can, allow the 3 and 4 year old girls to follow and squeal and whimper as puke launches forth into the garbage can. As though on cue, the rest of the children should understand that this is possibly the most appropriate time to start doing cart-wheel kicks and calling for their pokemon ("pickachu-I choose you!") to come and play around the rug. Now, when you choose the child to go and pull the principle out of the 4th "staff meeting" of the week, don't forget to choose the slowest moving child in the group, because seriously---what could be better?. When "reinforcement" arrives, let them see the fun that you are having and for fear of interrupting your jolly time, surely they will be understanding and tell you something like "Well, his Mom has been called. There's nothing else to do," and disappear again as children run amuck in the room. (don't forget about puking child though, because at this point, the water he drank 5 minutes previously is gurggling in and up through his throat---literally!) Finally, when you've had enough fun doing that (and believe me, it's WAY fun-so you might be there a while) announce that people can go and get board games out. Now, here's another crucial part. If you don't have a Hungry, Hungry, Hippo's game, purchase one. Either way, make sure that there are only 3 marbles in the game at the time and that 4 children are always playing it. Nothing is more fun then when at least 1 person looses completely. As "Hippos" and other such super quiet games are being played, have a few of the children get out Monopoly and throw the pieces at one another while tossing the money in the air like they are rich. This is loads of fun. When so much fun is being had that it actually becomes too much for everyone, confiscate "Hippos" and Monopoly, because no one should be allowed that much fun! At this point it might be best to have a seat (but don't abandoned puking child, who now has a seat by the trash) because all of the joy and fun that should be spreading like wildfire might be causing a slight twitch in your whole body. Sit down, twitching and all and take a moment to soak in the joy you are feeling because seriously, fun times like these don't happen everyday.............. *sigh* which is something that I am just learning to deal with.

(Disclaimer: This is not what a typical day in after care is like, but when such a fun time is had, how can one not feel guilty about keeping such a great time to themselves?)